For anyone who has read the bible, we’ve all learned the parable of the Fig Tree. It’s a good reminder about forgiveness and how positive thoughts and actions feed our spirit. I know it can be hard when somebody made you angry. We can become snippy, argumentative, think negative thoughts, and be unforgiving.
I was reminded of this during my nightly chat with God and Christ Jesus. I thought I released the anger I hold towards my older brother, when indeed, I realized the hurt I felt was still lingering.
To help you understand my pain, here’s the basics of what happened. I am living paycheck to paycheck and as soon as I manage to save up some money, something happens which I need to dole it out. When the support under my bathtub went, it developed a crack and whenever I used the shower, the water would leak out onto the floor. Thank goodness I have a second bath/shower. When I asked my brother for advice on what options there might be to fix the support without spending $5,700 to replace it, he turned to me and said, “I’m done helping people.” Yet…he helps his new girlfriend in physically fixing up her house. Now, I wasn’t asking him to come to my place and physically do work, I was merely seeking his verbal advice on the cheapest option.
You can imagine the hurt I felt when a family member turns their back on you when you need it the most. My central air and heat don’t work and I live in Massachusetts. No, I don’t qualify for a loan and do not have the funds to buy a new one at $6-8,000 dollars. I’m worried, but have two space heaters and my cousin said he will take a look at my unit, which was installed in 1985. If I can have the heater portion fixed and have it last another four years until I can save the money or qualify for a loan, then I’ll be grateful. My cousin, who is an electrician, lovingly helps me with these sorts of things while not expecting anything in return. He understands I need help. Now, why won’t my brother provide verbal advice? I was hurt, and if I’m honest, still am. I asked the Lord to help me move past this hurt and forgive my brother completely. It’s a challenge because my first thought is, “Does he not love me anymore? I’m not asking for much.”
I know I sound like a petulant child, but emotional support is not something my immediate family members provide. I’ve been on my own in this area most of my life. Example number two: A long time ago, my mother said to me on my birthday as we were shopped for a backpack for college I had to put myself through, “I don’t want to be your mother anymore. I’d rather be your friend.” It seems she’s changed it to sorta-be-your-mother. Meh, I’ll take what I can get.
Emotional support has been freely provided by my step-mother and cousin. God placed these two extraordinary people in my life because he knew. He wants me to have the support I need to grow a great Fig Tree. My spirit receives the emotional nourishment it needs through them, and I am extremely thankful.
I pondered over the fruit tree lesson below and realized my brother and mother have their own paths to walk, and their own Fig Tree to nourish. As for me, I forgive them, and know that God has placed family members in my life to help me in their place. I’m working on letting go of the hurt completely. I can forgive my critical mother and my brother, and move forward. I love my family, warts and all, but at times it can be a challenge. My new reminder mantra: If Jesus could love those who hurt him, so can I.
Your homework:
Read the bible entries below about Jesus and the Fig Tree. Think about what he’s saying. The fig tree represents your spirit. When you encounter negative or unloving thoughts towards someone, change those thoughts into positive ones. Is there someone you need to forgive?
Spiritual Love Warrior 